Author: Aishat.M

The Real Reason You Keep Quitting on Your Goals (It’s Not What You Think)

Whenever a new year rolls around, or perhaps a birthday, we tend to commit to accomplishing a goal, changing a habit, or unlearning one. However, the real challenge is not in starting, but in staying consistent over time. Because, truth be told, that is the only way to actually achieve a goal. From losing weight to getting a business off the ground, it is important to stay the course until the goal is actualized.

The real question is: How do I stay consistent?

Online coaches and gurus will say, “Have a good support system,” “Read 10 pages of a book a day,” “Make your bed in the morning,” “Write your goals down on a sticky note and let it haunt you every second of your existence.” These are all valid if you are already motivated.

But what if you are not?

I have tried the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method. It does nothing for me. I do not launch from my bed like a rocket and get to the task I need to do. Even after counting down, I still wait for myself to get up. It is not working.

It was not until I stopped and asked myself, Wait a minute… why do I want to exercise? Why do I want to launch a business? Why do I want to learn a new skill? Why do I want to stop binge eating?

The answers seemed obvious. Like, duh—improve your health, gain financial freedom, probably help the world be better along the way.

But guess what? Those answers still were not enough to stop me from hitting snooze the moment my alarm rang.

So what did I do to stay consistent? What made working on my goals a non-negotiable?

I had to have a STRONG why. Not a generic why. Not a motivational quote. Not something even ChatGPT could come up with. I needed a reason that was raw, personal, undeniable, and in my face daily.

For example, before launching this blog, I had started several others that went nowhere. (Well, who is to say this one will go anywhere either?) What I mean is, those blogs had no direction. No solid why.

I once started a biomedicine blog in grad school simply because others were doing it and I liked how it made them look: reputable and trusted. I also started one about my premed journey because I was in my poetic era and wanted to pour all my creative juices online through the lens of a premedical student.

I cringe whenever I read those posts now. But hey, some attendings saw potential and even praised my writing. Still, those blogs were short bursts of me knowing I wanted to blog, but having no strong reason why I was blogging.

Now, as a mom and early-career professional, I want to share my experiences, insights, and systems with others who are juggling the demands of life while trying to better themselves. That might sound cliché to some—but to me, it is a strong why.

Every evening, I ask myself: What insight did I glean from the day’s work that I can share with others? I write it down. I document and share it here, through this blog.

This is something I face and live daily. It is not going anywhere. It is personal because these are my experiences. It is raw and unfiltered because I am not bound by constraints or policies. I am now blogging from a place that does not run dry. A place where inspiration never wanes.

It is not just an era or a phase. I am coasting through an identity that will remain with me forever. I will always be working. I will always be a mom. And I will always be navigating how to thrive while juggling both—or even more. I have been a graduate student before this, so I know a thing or two about wearing multiple hats and being productive.

So, all that to say: Anything you want to do must have a strong, solid why attached to it.

Otherwise, over time, you will get tired. You will lose interest. You will lose motivation. And that goal? It will quietly fade away.

Only what you water grows and thrives. And when you think of water, it is everywhere. It never runs out. Even in the desert, the sweat dripping from your face in the sweltering heat is still water and it could make all the difference.

Find your water source. Find what makes you tick. That way, when you count down from 5 to 1, you are already moving before you hit 1because you know this has to be done, no matter what. Your strong why sprung you into action.

With a strong why, you will be unstoppable. You will become the best version of yourself. You will thrive.

Do you have an unconventional way to stay consistent on the road to achieving your goals? Share with me below.

July 5, 2025
The Subtle Art of Being Yourself in a World That Wants You to Conform

Are you truly living as the manifestation of YOUR OWN chosen thoughts and ideas? I recently unplugged from mainstream social media that sucked my attention like a hungry parasite. And since then, I have noticed one thing: people actually do most things because everyone else is doing it. Not because they really wanted to, or because they sat in a corner, introspected, and had that aha moment of springing into action to bring a thought to life. Ha, I have the word for it—peer pressure.

We are all just living in a massive classroom, with chatters bouncing off walls, hitting our consciousness and subconscious alike, making us act in ways we do not even subscribe to. Or… how do we even know if we ever subscribed to it in the first place? Apologies for the existential crisis ramble.

For example, in the corner of social media that my feed literally feeds me, people no longer do birthday cakes, the whole singing charade, and blowing candles to make a wish. Instead, they buy a bunch of outfits, have a glam team doll them up, and post a carousel of photos for thousands of strangers who will hit “like” and send a rush of dopamine straight to the account holder. It is fun. I have done it, and it was only because others were doing it, and I thought it was the way to go. But hey, I get it. Do what makes you happy.

I just want to draw our attention back to pulling out of ourselves what makes us us. It is so easy to get lost in the sauce, in the chatter, in the trends. Do we even still sit, introspect, think about the hard things, and visualize how we can get better, and maybe make the world better in the process?

Vocalizing dissent in today’s world is further eroding our sense of self. If you do not agree, you are “difficult to work with.” If you do not participate, you are “a weirdo.” If you do not show up, you are “selfish.” The list goes on. The world continues to spin. And if you are part of the crowd of dissent, you remain you.

I remember being given a ridiculous piece of feedback that completely betrayed my natural way of being. “You talk in such a monotonous way. The audience will fall asleep. Repeat this slide again.”

I did—again and again. Nothing changed, and eventually, the feedback giver gave up, hoping I would magically change next time.

Mind you, I have given dozens of presentations, holding the attention of the very people I am speaking to. “You want me to sound just like you in order to be heard?” Nope. Not going to do that.

And I was not being difficult. I was just being myself. Anything different would have been forced, and yes, weird.

Being yourself, your true self, I mean the version that is not influenced by culture imposed on you, or one you hesitantly adopt for convenience, is what it means to be free. To be free is to consciously choose what you want for yourself. That is how you thrive. That is how you become. That is how you self-actualize.

Because without the real you, thriving becomes confusing and stagnant. Kind of like walking up an escalator that is going down.

Become a vessel that actively makes choices, informed choices, every second. Not one that simply absorbs random chatter bouncing off the walls. I have learned that the real me thrives and breathes actual air, while the peer-pressured me struggles, failing to turn on the oxygen tank, which was the real me all along.

June 27, 2025
On Living with Purpose

What Makes You Come Alive?

When it comes to thriving in life, whether in my personal growth journey or career, the one question I consistently ask myself is: What makes me come alive? Or, put differently, What makes me truly aware of my own existence?

It is surprisingly easy to drift through life on autopilot. We follow a script. We play by the rules. We listen to the voices passed down through generations. Voices that mean well, but often echo limitations instead of possibilities. And if we do not pause to question those voices, we risk spending years, sometimes our whole lives, chasing a version of success that does not align with who we really are.

Are those paths, the traditional, familiar, parent-approved ones, truly yours? Or are they just safe trails, neatly laid out to help you arrive at a predictable destination? A destination that may look successful on the outside but feels misaligned on the inside?

Let us break this down and make it real.

As an immigrant from a developing country, you probably already know the career script. Choices? Very limited. Let me guess—you thought lawyer, doctor, accountant, or engineer. If you did, you are not wrong. That is exactly what was expected. Those were the careers that were praised and prioritized. Even if those paths did not help you discover your passion or activate your full potential, you were still expected to pursue them. It was more about survival than purpose. Prestige over passion.

I was on the road to medical school. But as my ancestors, or universe, or God, will have it, I got rejected, front, left, right, and center.

At the time, I was disappointed. But that rejection led to redirection. I pivoted into a PhD in biomedical sciences, not because I wanted to treat diseases, but because I was fascinated by how the human body works. Biology felt like poetry to me. The molecular choreography, the cellular conversations. I was hooked.

And here is where the story takes another turn. While pursuing my PhD, I discovered something else—I love to write. I spend a lot of time in my head, so offloading my thoughts onto the page is not just therapeutic, it is grounding. Writing makes me feel present. Writing brings me alive.

I think, therefore I am? For me, it is I write, therefore I am.

For you, it might be I teach, therefore I am.
For someone else, it may be I sing, therefore I am or I analyze data, therefore I am.
Yes, even crunching numbers can make someone feel alive. (I used to roll my eyes at that too. Numbers? Seriously? But now I get it.)

The truth is, when you find the thing that lights you up, you will thrive in it. That is the secret to living with purpose. You need to know what makes you come alive and then align your life around that purpose.

But what happens when you are feeling unmotivated, stuck, or tired of the daily grind? What happens when you say, “I do not feel like waking up early,” or “I do not feel like exercising,” or “I cannot focus today”?

Here is a game-changing mindset: connect your habits to your passion.

For me, that passion is writing. So I frame every important habit as something that supports it.
I exercise to have the energy and mental clarity to write.
I organize my space so I can think clearly and write better.
I wake up earlier so I can have uninterrupted time to write.

This mindset shift is the beginning of building better habits that actually stick. You stop forcing productivity and start building routines that fuel your purpose. The ordinary becomes meaningful. The routine becomes intentional. Everything starts to work together because it is all serving what matters most.

This takes mental practice. A bit of reframing. But just like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Eventually, it becomes second nature. You do not have to chase motivation because your life is aligned with what you care about.

So today, I am passing the mic to you.
What makes you come alive?

Do not overthink it. Start small. Identify that one thing that makes your heart beat a little faster. That thing that sparks curiosity or calm or excitement. Then link your daily habits to it. Every small effort you make in that direction builds momentum.

That is the beginning of personal transformation.
That is how you thrive.

June 23, 2025
How I Took Back My Time and Started Thriving Again

Daily writing prompt
How do you waste the most time every day?
View all responses

Time is fleeting. That is a known fact. You blink, and suddenly you are in your seventiesor your child is now enunciating full sentences like a literature wizard. Where did all the time go? we often ask ourselves.

It is so easy to let time slip away without being intentional about it. That is the lazy route. The “I am just relaxing” cop-out we tell ourselves.

Recently, I have been forced to spend my time more intentionally and productively. But before I could get into that headspace, I had to ask myself: Where do I spend most of my time each day in ways that do not serve my goals? And then it hit me. It is social media: the holy grail of instant gratification and dopamine rush. The fear of missing out. The constant need to keep up with the lives of people who do not even know I exist.

Is it worth it? I asked myself.

Now, I am not trying to be a flag bearer for toxic positivity. But I truly believe that every second that passes in our lives should be viewed as an investment, an investment in becoming the best version of ourselves and reaching our full potential. And yes, there is time for rest. Intentional rest. Rest that does not involve mindlessly scrolling and wasting valuable time.

If I were to tally the minutes, hours, and days I have spent on social media, it would probably amount to years—years lost over almost three decades of life. That is scary. Time that could have been better invested in honing my craft, learning new skills, nurturing relationships, or being present with family. The list is endless.

After reflecting deeply on how much time I have wasted, I made a decision. I deleted the time-wasting, anxiety-inducing, garbage-input apps. Gone. They might come back one day. But only after I have developed habits so deeply ingrained that my first instinct when I have free time is not to reach for my phone to scroll.

Since ditching those apps, I realized it was actually an addiction. And you cannot thrive while addicted. It is distracting. It is soul-sucking. It took a bit of thinking, reflection, and a shift in my life circumstances for me to see just how much time I had been giving away.

Do I miss knowing the latest dance trend or getting the tea on the drama between podcast bros and women just living their lives? Yes, a little. But the amount of time I now have to be productive far outweighs the fear of missing out. I will gladly be the “out-of-touch, cannot-relate” one in the group chat if it means I am growing—every single day, even just a fraction.

So let me ask you:
How do you waste the most time every day? And are you ready to do something about it?

June 22, 2025
How to Overcome Fear of the Unknown and Thrive in Your Career

As early career professionals, we often find ourselves standing at the edge of unfamiliar terrain. The job offer in a new city, the pivot into a new industry, the decision to pursue an advanced degree, or even the choice to speak up in a room full of seasoned experts. These moments carry an uncomfortable weight. They are shadows cast by the unknown.

Recently, I took a walk through the woods. Every bend in the trail made my heart thump louder. The silence between the trees felt eerie, the path ahead unclear. With each step, I shrank inward, cocooning myself in a cave of fear. That walk reminded me of a truth I keep returning to. The fear of the unknown is one of the most natural, and most paralyzing, emotions we experience.

The unknown is a strange paradox. It is both foreign and familiar. It is everything we have not yet encountered, and yet it is part of the fabric of our lives. It is where potential lives, and where fear thrives.

Fear is a natural reaction, rooted in our biology. It exists to protect us from danger. But in the modern world, it often works overtime, warning us not just about real threats, but imagined ones. I am not a therapist or psychologist, but I have felt the grip of fear in moments when life asked me to step forward. If fear of the unknown has started to limit you, here are a few mindset shifts that have helped me, and may help you too.

Reframe Your Thoughts
Fear thrives when we give our attention to worst-case scenarios. It begins when we imagine everything that could go wrong: failure, rejection, judgment, loss. The problem is, when the mind is flooded with negative imagery, we begin to live in that reality before anything has even happened.

But the mind is a fertile ground. What you plant in it grows. If you feed it pessimism, fear blooms. If you sow optimism, confidence takes root. Reframing your thoughts does not mean ignoring risks. It means choosing to focus on potential and purpose. Life will always be uncertain. The question is: what will you believe about the uncertainty?

Understand That Worry is Not a Strategy
Worry feels productive. It gives us the illusion of control. But in truth, it is a mental treadmill—exhausting but stationary. Worry does not prepare you. It drains you. It wastes energy that could be used taking action, making decisions, or creating something new.

The reality is, you cannot predict the future. You cannot guarantee the outcome of any endeavor. But you can show up. You can put in the work. You can remain open to learning. Once you understand that life does not offer guarantees, but opportunities, you begin to live with less tension and more purpose.

Letting go of worry allows you to clear the fog of fear and move forward, perhaps slowly, but steadily.

Trust the Reason You Began
Every journey into the unknown starts with a spark. A desire. A conviction. A decision.

There is a reason you began. There is a reason you chose this career path, applied to that program, or accepted that challenge. Fear may knock at your door, but conviction will walk you through it.

Think of yourself as a runner in a race. You do not start just to stop at the halfway mark and declare defeat. Even if you need to catch your breath, you keep going. That same endurance applies to your professional goals. There will be moments of doubt, but your reasons—your why—can anchor you.

Keep your eyes on the destination and your belief in your purpose close. With that mindset, fear loses its power.

Practice Focus and Presence
Fear lives in the future. It feeds on “what if.” But life unfolds in the now.
When you are fully present, fear begins to dissolve. Focus on what is in front of you. What decision can you make today? What small action can you take? What lesson can you learn from your current environment?

Presence is a powerful antidote to anxiety. It grounds you. It reminds you that the unknown is not always dangerous. Sometimes, it is simply unexplored.

Takeaways to Thrive
As you build your career, fear of the unknown will not disappear. But it does not have to control you. Acknowledge it. Understand it. And then, gently, move beyond it.

Early career is a time of transition and uncertainty—but also of possibility. Each unknown holds an invitation to grow. When you reframe your thoughts, stop wasting energy on worry, trust your intentions, and ground yourself in the present, you will begin to move from a place of fear to a place of power.

That is what it means to be in Thrive Mode: choosing courage over comfort and purpose over paralysis, especially when the path ahead is not fully clear.

Do you have any specific moments when you hesitated because of fear? Share down below

June 12, 2025
Realistic Ways to Get Your Life Together as a Young Adult

There is a moment in your twenties when everything feels like it is slipping out of place. You are figuring out bills, balancing friendships, trying to build a career, and somehow still expected to drink eight glasses of water a day. It can feel like you are running a marathon with untied shoelaces. Getting your life together sounds like a lofty dream. But what if it did not have to be?

The truth is, getting your life together does not require a dramatic transformation. It requires small, intentional steps that move you closer to alignment. If you are searching for realistic ways to feel more in control and grounded as a young adult, here are a few habits to start with. Each one is doable, sustainable, and most importantly, kind to your current season of life.

1. Meal Prep Without the Pressure

You do not need to cook gourmet meals for the week or buy an entire aisle of groceries to be consistent with food prep. Start simple. Choose two meals you like, buy the ingredients, and prep them on a Sunday evening. Focus on meals that nourish you, give you energy, and make you feel cared for. You are not aiming for perfection, you are aiming for peace. A stocked fridge with go-to meals gives you one less thing to stress about during the week.

2. Create an Organized Workspace

Your external environment affects your internal state. A cluttered workspace often translates to a cluttered mind. You do not need fancy storage containers or a Pinterest-worthy office setup. Start by clearing off your desk. Keep only what you use daily. Use trays or boxes to group items. Add one thing that brings you joy—maybe a plant, a photo, or a motivational quote. When your workspace feels calm and ordered, it becomes easier to focus and be productive.

3. Read One Page a Day

The pressure to read one book a month or finish a self-help book in a weekend can be overwhelming. Instead, give yourself permission to read just one page a day. One page is enough to learn something new, gain perspective, or simply slow down. Over time, one page becomes two, then five, then a full chapter. The goal is not volume, it is consistency. Reading daily helps you reconnect with your inner voice and opens up new ways of thinking.

4. Delegate Routine Tasks Like Cleaning

You do not have to do everything yourself. If you have the means, delegate what drains your energy. Hiring someone to clean once or twice a month can free up hours of your time and mental space. If that is not an option right now, break cleaning into small, manageable tasks and ask roommates or family members to share the load. You deserve to live in a space that feels good, without burning yourself out to maintain it.

5. Plan Your Day the Night Before

One of the simplest ways to feel more put together is to take five minutes each night to plan for the next day. Jot down your top three priorities, your schedule, and any reminders you need. Knowing what to expect the next day reduces morning anxiety and gives your day a sense of direction. A small evening ritual like this creates a bridge between chaos and clarity.

6. Move Your Body Without Pressure

Forget the pressure of hitting the gym or doing intense workouts. Instead, shift your mindset to “let me move” rather than “let me exercise.” Take a walk, stretch while listening to music, or do a few yoga poses. Movement is not punishment. It is a way to honor your body and release stress. The goal is not to shrink your body but to feel more present in it.

7. Journal to Unclutter Your Mind

Journaling is not just about documenting your day. It is a practice that helps you connect with yourself, explore your thoughts, and release what you are holding. You do not need perfect grammar or a structured format. Just write. Let your thoughts flow freely. Ask yourself questions like, “Why am I feeling this way?” or “What do I need right now?” Journaling clears mental clutter and brings your focus back to what matters most.

Final Thoughts: Pour Into Yourself First

Above all, learn to find little ways to pour into yourself before you pour into the world. Getting your life together is not about being productive 24/7. Maybe it is making a warm cup of tea at night, lighting a candle before bed, or taking a long bath after a hard week. These little acts of self-care remind you that you are worth the time and energy it takes to feel whole.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to you. When you give to yourself consistently, you begin to feel the difference. Love flows more freely. Joy becomes easier to access. You stop surviving and start thriving.

Some of the links on this page are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase through them. This comes at no additional cost to you and helps support my work in providing helpful, free content. I only recommend products I believe in and think you’ll find valuable.

June 5, 2025
The Motivation Secret No One Talks About: This Trick Will Change Everything

Motivation can be hard to come by sometimes. It is like waiting on a force to get you off the bed, out the door, or honestly, to just do something you have always fantasized about. We have all been there. You have goals, plans, and dreams that light a fire inside you, but when it comes to actually doing the work? That is where things start to fall apart.

Here is the hard truth. Motivation is not something you wait for. It is something you build. It is a system, not a spark.

So how do you stay consistent with habits you plan to build? If there is a task I want to complete or do consistently, such as exercising or launching a side hustle, one thing I always do is build systems of accountability around me. Literally from every angle you can think of. When motivation is low, systems keep you going. When you want to quit, accountability reminds you why you started.

So if you are tired of waiting to feel ready, here are six powerful ways to keep yourself accountable and stay motivated every single day.

1. Tell Everyone What You Are Working On

This one may feel uncomfortable, but it is powerful. The moment you speak your goal out loud, it becomes real. Tell your partner, your coworkers, your best friend, or post it on your Instagram story. When people know what you are working on, they will ask you about it. And trust me, nothing gets you back on track faster than someone casually asking, “Hey, how is that project going?”

Social accountability makes you feel seen. It creates a sense of responsibility that pushes you to follow through, even when you would rather not.

2. Build a Daily Non-Negotiable Routine

Motivation does not survive decision fatigue. If you have to choose every day whether or not to do the thing, you will eventually choose no. The key is to remove that choice by building it into your routine.

I treat my goals like appointments. They go on the calendar. They get a time slot. No excuses. Whether it is writing, working out, or studying, I make it part of the day like brushing my teeth. The more automatic your habits become, the less you rely on motivation.

3. Set Alarms with Personal Messages

Alarms are great, but alarms with personality are better. Set your phone to buzz with messages that feel personal. My favorite alarm literally says, “Your future self is waiting. Do not let her down.” Another one says, “This goal will not chase itself.”

These little reminders add emotional weight to your day. They do more than just alert you. They speak to your purpose.

4. Track Your Progress Visually

Progress is addictive. When you can see your effort stacking up, it motivates you to keep going. Whether it is a bullet journal, a habit tracking app, or a paper calendar with big red Xs, visual progress is powerful.

I use a whiteboard next to my desk. Every day I complete a task, I put a big green checkmark. Seeing the chain grow makes me want to keep it going.

Your brain loves completion. Use that to your advantage.

5. Reward Your Effort, Not Just Your Outcome

Sometimes the reward system gets overlooked. But rewarding yourself for showing up is just as important as celebrating the win. Hit a small milestone? Celebrate. Stayed consistent for a week? Treat yourself to something small but meaningful.

This trains your brain to associate effort with joy. And when something feels good, you will naturally want to keep doing it.

6. Get an Accountability Buddy or Be Your Own Coach

Find someone who is also working toward a goal and check in with each other. It can be a friend, a coworker, or someone you connect with online. If that is not an option, become your own accountability coach. Send yourself daily check-in texts. Record voice memos. Write short reflection notes in your planner.

Having someone—or even your own system—to answer to gives your goals structure. It creates follow-through where motivation would normally fade.

Final Thoughts: Systems Over Sparks

Here is the truth. You do not need more motivation. You need better systems. You need structure. You need accountability from every angle.

Start with just one of the methods above. Then layer another. Build your own ecosystem of success. Because when motivation disappears—and it will—your systems will keep you grounded and moving forward.

The best part? Once you start to see results, the motivation comes rushing back. And this time, you are ready for it.

So, what goal are you ready to stay accountable for?

Let me know. I will hold you to it.

June 1, 2025
7 Micro Habits to Reset Your Mind Without Overwhelm

Some days feel like a blur of tabs, texts, and to-do lists. If you are anything like me, you want to feel productive, but not burnt out. You want clarity, but without the chaos. The good news? You do not need a 3-hour morning routine or a self-help book tower. These seven micro habits can help you reset your mind and get grounded, gently.

1. Brain Dump & Prioritize

First thing in the morning or after a stressful block of time, just get it all out of your head. Open a blank notebook or app and spill everything, no editing, no structure. Once you’ve emptied your mental clutter, highlight just three key tasks for the day. That’s it. It’s simple, but wildly effective.

2. Read 10 Pages of a Book

Whether it’s a mindset-shifting nonfiction title or a story that lets you escape for a while, ten pages is doable. It nourishes your brain and gives you a break from screens. If you’re trying to build a reading habit, this is the perfect bite-sized way to start.

3. Move Your Body Gently

No need for an intense HIIT session here. Stretch for five minutes. Walk around the block. Try a short yoga flow. Gentle movement can spark energy, reduce tension, and reset your focus without draining your tank.

4. Tidy One Small Area

Productivity isn’t always loud or flashy. Sometimes, it’s just cleaning out that junk drawer, clearing off your desk, or deleting old files. A tiny tidy-up gives you a mini dopamine hit and a clearer space, both mentally and physically.

5. Learn One New Thing

Curiosity is a productivity superpower. Listen to a short podcast. Watch a 3-minute tutorial. Read one blog post that teaches you something new. It’s not about information overload, it’s about staying engaged with your growth.

6. Journal for 5 Minutes

You don’t need to write a novel. Just set a timer and write whatever comes up. A quick journaling session can help you reflect, vent, or set intentions. It’s like a brain massage, low effort, high clarity.

7. Plan Tomorrow Today

Before you wind down, take five minutes to sketch out tomorrow. What are the top 1–3 things you want to do? What do you need to prepare? It’s a calm, proactive way to end your day, and future-you will thank you.

Final Thoughts

These are not just habits. They are mindset resets. They don’t demand much, but they pay off in mental clarity, motivation, and consistency. Whether you do one or all seven, the point is progress, not perfection.

May 31, 2025